It must be hard to be you.

Poor Eirik, it must be so hard to be him sometimes. Really.. He's so smart and trying desperately to catch up emotionally and socially to his intellectual level. He KNOWS what could and should happen, but he's not big enough or old enough or emotionally stable enough and his frustration levels hit boiling over often. I think he was born with this scowl. He is always thinking and scheming and planning. I went through his big box of his important things the other night when he was asleep. (don't tell him.) For just a moment I got a deeper glimpse of what it must be like to be in his brain and, man, it must be hard. He has an empty deodorant bottle of Pauls in there. He wants so much to be grown up, but I don't think he even knows what it is for, but he knows he needs it to be a man. He knows he needs to be tough and strong like his dad, and then when he feels scared or sad or overwhelmed he is so mad at himself. Because he is so mature in many ways it's hard to remember how small he is. It's hard to not want him to finally be done with sippy cups and tantrums. He wants to be in charge of everything and everyone. It must be so hard for him to be small since he is obviously leader material and everyone should obviously be listening to him and following him at all times. :) How frustrating for him. He calls himself a teenager and already has big life plans, but then he will say, "mom, I'm not going to college because I never want to leave you." He is wound so tight inside all the time that the smallest things set him off in a big way. If he can't get his zipper up or something tied onto him or some of his gear just how he wants it, he screams in complete frustration. He has absolutely no patience with himself or others. Again, I say, "it must be SO hard for him." The other day he was picking at his earlobe and making it bleed again (something he has done since he was a baby) and Paul told him to try to stop and Eirik said, "Dad, I just have to. I feel better when I do it." Paul said, "son, I know just how you feel." and then he showed Eirik his thumb that he has picked till it's bleeding. Hmm... I wonder where Eirik got it from. I'm glad Eirik has his Dad to help him deal with all that ENERGY!

By the fire

I have always had this vision in my head that a happy family sits around the fire and reads books and talks at night. I know.. sometimes I'm pathetically idealistic. (and maybe I've read too much Ray Bradburry and Madeline L'Engle.) And yet, this month has been just dreamy because we have our first fireplace and we actually turn it on and sit together and read. Most nights Eirik cries and throws a fit because he wants to watch tv, but once we get reading he's great at listening. He catches EVERYTHING. I think his reading retention is better than mine. If I re-read a book he will tell me if I say one word different. It must be hard to be so smart. Tonight I set out sleeping bags and let the kids sleep under the Christmas tree. I think it will be a snow day tomorrow so why not live it up? I used to love sleeping under the Christmas tree. I'm glad Paul took this picture of my vision coming to life. I do love to read to my kids.

PS. Eirik had to wear these goggles to preschool every day this week..even before it snowed. He also refused to get dressed for church this morning so we took him in his pajamas. Paul decided at the last minute not to let him walk into sacrament in his PJs. I was hoping it would embarrass him enough to teach him a lesson, but Paul said, "I know Eirik and he is not going to be embarrassed, he's just going to think he won." He is probably right, and he forced him to change in the car.
The kids have been getting happy or sad faces lately based on behavior. Two weeks in a row they have gotten more sad faces than happy faces even with SANTA as incentive to be good. It's been a bit rough. Joren keeps stealing from friends houses. Eirik stole from Walmart. They hit each other constantly and Joren uses bathroom words all day long and says, "is that funny?" each time. Joren peed on the basement floor at our friends house. Eirik is incredibly obstinate and sassy and has HUGE tantrums. However, they do have good moods where they are so sweet you want to eat them up though. Eirik told me he was going to do all my chores for me from now on and asks me every night (usually after being a complete pill) if there is anything he can do for me. And Joren always follows me around saying "I wuv you mom." They are good and I'm probably going to have to make some happy faces magically appear so that Santa can still come because I'm more excited than they are. :) he he.
I think these next few Christmases are going to be the most fun we'll ever have at Christmas in our lives. I hope they like what we found for them. I can't wait! 12 days and counting down!

Teigalicious!

Yes this child is delicious.

Joren turns 3!

Joren loves to say, "I'm not Joren, I'm Diego." so we threw him a Diego party. The kids got to go on animal rescue missions and save animals all over the house. They got "swamp juice" (apple juice with Swedish fish and nerds and green food coloring) and got to do an obsticle course over "crocidile alley" and up the "rainforest trees". I made Joren a Diego outfit and the kids got magnifying glasses, maps and whistles in their little packs. Joren had a good time, but I think he might have had just as much fun if it were just our family. I'm still trying to figure out how much of this birthday party hoopla is necessary. I think he really liked it, but most importantly he is a happy kid and he knows we "wike" him. He is so fun and easy going. He is so proud that he is potty trained. He is growing up so fast. We are lucky to be his parents.

Anona'a painting

There are some people that come into our lives that make a huge impact. My friend Anona is one of them. I have never met someone so completely selfless and thoughtful and genuine in my life. She is a great example to me. I have never heard her complain and she always has a smile and it's not a fake smile. I just love to be in her presence so I can do my best to try to be just a little bit like her. She asked me to help her decorate her house and I felt it such an honor because I got to be around her and because I love to decorate. She was so sweet. She thinks everything I suggest is gold, and does everything I recommend, which makes working with her a pleasure. She is a great deal finder. She found this comforter for her master bedroom for about $70. She bought 6 or 7 bed sets and let me pick the one I liked best. I chose this one and we used it as a base to decorate her room. She found this headboard on Craigslist for $20 and repainted it. She found the side dressers there too for I think $60 for 3 and painted them. The lamps were a garage sale find that she spray painted. (Did I mention she is an amazing do it your selfer?) I thought the room needed some big artwork since it was such a large room and since the budget was tight I thought I would paint something for her and trade. She has really made it worth my time with how generous she is, and I had a great time painting this for her.
Her wedding song was "grow old along with me" so I painted the words up the trunk of the tree. I think trees are lovely symbols for family, growth, change, seasons, bearing fruit, and shelter which all seemed very appropriate for a painting hanging above a master bed.
I think this piece turned out pretty nice and I will definitely use the stencil technique again.
I always worry when I do commission pieces that the recipient won't like it as much as I do. The last thing I want is someone to think, "oh great, how long do I have to have this up before I can take it down and not hurt her feelings." Fortunately, I think they do like this piece and I hope they will for some time. Thanks for letting me do it for you Anona. You're truly a gem.

Thanksgiving

We decided we wanted to host this year. The past three years our apartment was too small to have anyone over comfortably, but this year we feel really blessed to have room to share. So we invited a bunch of families. We tried to invite anyone we could think of that might not have a place to go this year. It turned out that most of the people we invited couldn't come, so we ended up with a much smaller crowd than I had anticipated. I really look forward to Thanksgiving. I love that Paul and I have made some traditions together and we each have our favorite things we like to make. I love to decorate for fall. I love the warm earthy colors and the cornucopia that symbolizes plenty and bounty. It's such a comforting holiday to get to appreciate, especially since we do feel like we have a bounty of blessings this year. I made a bunch of yellow circles this year and for the two weeks before Thanksgiving we wrote down things we are grateful for and then taped them to the wall. They formed a stack of "coins" that represent how "rich" we are in blessings.

We had a good time with our friends, and the food was delicious! We played a little rock band and boggle and pictionary and the kids had a good time too.
I think the day and the weekend went great, but to be honest, there was a cloud of sadness over our house. I don't think either Paul or I realized until later why we felt a little extra irritable and just sort of gloomy.. and well, it's because we miss our dad. It just doesn't feel right to celebrate when we still feel so sad. Not a day goes by that we don't cry. And I think holidays will be sad for a long time. At this time of Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for Steve and that I had him in my life.

A "sea" of yellow

As each season has unfolded in our new house, we have been blessed with wonderful surprises. This autumn brought to our front yard a "sea" of yellow to swim in. Although all our neighbors were very dutiful in raking up their leaves right away; I pleaded with Paul to leave our leaves just a few more days. We played in them every day for most of a week.













Happy Autumn!