Our kids make me laugh every day..

First day of Playschool

lining up all his "naked" crayons.

Joren

Joren, our incessant climber, is constantly asking me: "What happens I fall down here?"

While telling me about his make believe walkie talkie Joren said, "watch mom, I push this button and air comes out. See. AIR!!"

While using a screw and a top to an orange juice concentrate can to "play" Joren said, "Look mom, I have my bery own bideo game!" (if only it could stay so simple.)

Joren proudly held up a piece of black licorice and said, "This is my birth jerkey." and insisted it was birth jerkey for the rest of the day.

"But I'm nice". (if ever Joren gets in trouble)

How can you be mad at a kid that says: "But I wike you"

Joren is constantly squealing and running from our "beast" of a dog and screaming: "Tor wiked me!"

"mom, you my best girl."

"Mom, i need you, I want you. I gone miss you."

If asked why he broke a rule or made a bad choice: "cause I need it." or "I had to."


While flying to Oregon: "This airplane is like a flyboat."

Where did you go today?
"A place wif sticks and hives to wiv in. It was weawy weawy big."

Who are your cousins?
"Jakey and Jake"

Who are your uncles?
"Who and Ha. "

What does your grandma look like?
"She has make up in her purse. Her purse is yewwow yewwow, yewwow, yewwow aww over."

"I'm not Joren, I'm Diego"

Joren is obsessed with all things small and rectangle. It is so weird. Dominoes, post-it not pads, phone batteries, magnets, blocks, pieces of cheese etc. Even pictures in books of small rectangle shaped things attract his attention. He calls them all his mini notebooks or handy dandy notebooks. Everyone hold on to your dominoes. He's swiped them from more than one house!

On Oct 20th Joren decided he was ready to be potty trained and he has refused to wear pull ups or diapers since. He's doing great. All of the sudden the light turned on and he is "in charge". He does not want me to choose his clothes or put on his seat belt or feed him or help him with most things. Independence suddenly happened. bye bye baby Joren. I will miss your baby stage. (of course I won't miss the diapers!)

"I'm not cute, I'm awesome!

Eirik


Eirik can't go on a walk without "GEAR" Today his sweater is his scarf and his headband makes him a great fighter. (of course!)

"This place smells like the inside of apples." Eirik

"Eirik, Did you know we were going to Oregon?"
"Oh, I thought we were going to Degoba."

Questionaire:
Eirik, what are your 5 most important pieces of gear?
1. Elkhorn hammer or knife
2. Black Stallion
3. Grey Cell Phone
4. Magnifying Glass
5. New Black Snowpants

What is the grossest thing you have ever eaten?
Noodles that I threw up.

"I was thinking to plant popcorn trees so I saved these popcorn seeds."

"gasoline is fire that fuels down with liquid. There's little tiny tiny cords that connect together and go into gasoline doors and get used up on fire liquid and helps the big rig go up and get burning. When the gas gets hard again it turns into flax."

"Mom, I've had enough of my life. Your life is way more interesting than mine."

I'm getting a lot of "I NEVER get to ....." or "I ALWAYS..." and comments like "fine, I'll just run away." or "fine, I'll just shoot myself."

"You're breaking my heart."

"You're cracking me apart."

"Oatmeal! This must stand short for the 'oaltimate' weapon!"

While practicing for the primary program: What is your part again Eirik? "I am the father of my Savior?" he said.
"NO! God is the father of my spirit!" I corrected.

Empathy

On the afternoon we learned of Steve's death, my sweet, loving 4 year old followed my distraught husband from room to room trying to console him with these words:

"I wish there was anything I could do for you. I wish I could bring you the moon. I wish I could bring the sun for you or bring all the sharks in the world and let you touch them. I wish I could make anything you want. I wish I could make you an expert at anything you would like or make you a doctor. I wish there was just anything I could do for you daddy. I love you daddy."

Steve's shoes

For the past few years whenever we have seen Steve, he has been wearing these shoes. They were perfect for him. They are sturdy, comfortable, cool, and dependable. On several occasions I told Paul we ought to buy some of the same kind for him. I think we even joked about swiping them. But that doesn't mean I wanted to wake up this morning and see them sitting on the floor on my husbands side of the bed. We got home from Oregon yesterday and I think Paul and I both wanted to come home and pretend for a while that none of the past week really happened. We hoped to get back to our routine and put on happy faces and dry our tears, but as I unpacked Steve's obituary and read our many sympathy cards and Paul wore Steve's shoes around, the reality of what has just happened struck me anew. The tragedy has followed us home and we can't pretend that the loss of our Dad is not as heartbreaking at home as it was at his graveside.

I've never had to grieve before. I didn't know how it would feel. The sorrow is so permeating.
I can only barely imagine the pain I would feel if I lost my Paul after 7 years with him, but I can't begin to wrap my brain around losing him after 42 years together. My heart breaks for my mother-in-law. No one prepares to be a widow at 59. Throughout the whole week Patty was a strength to all of us when I felt we should be the strength to her. I only saw her weep once and it was as the two of us talked and she expressed how lonely she will be. I know she is devastated and yet she was gracious and loving and very present for all of us and her grand kids. She emanated peace. Her words and demeanor testify that she is absolutely sure she will see him again after this life.
The memorial service was beautiful. The chapel and gym were packed nearly to the back wall. There were thousands of flowers. Arinn and I said the prayers, Kim led the music and Ben, Zach, Jeanette, Paul and Kristen and Steve's bishop spoke. Ben gave a moving life sketch. Zach talked of Steve's love for his wife and read excerpts from the love journal Pat and Steve kept. Jeanette, Paul and Kristen shared memories and stories about Steve and I don't think there was a dry eye in the room. Steve's bishop could barely speak as he told of the many many acts of service Steve performed for people. I heard several people say it was the most inspiring funeral they had been to. Steve was real. There was no pretense. No one had to exaggerate to inspire us all to live a better life. It was said that Steve had become so pure that the Lord needed him to come home to do missionary work on the other side. It was true, he had become pure. His priorities were right. He loved God and served him. He put his family first. He died with his Book of Mormon open on his nightstand and his genealogy done all the way back to Julius Caesar. He lived an exemplary and righteous life.

No one in our family had to cook for a solid week and I have come home to another full week of meals provided by my wonderful friends here. The outpouring of love and sympathy we have received has been astounding. I didn't know how much I would appreciate it. I have sometimes in the past shortchanged people when sympathy was due underestimating the amount of sorrow they must feel. I have been solidly taught how to empathize and comfort others by the love we have been shown. I am so thankful for all of you who have called, sent flowers, emails, cards and prayers. Thank you. We are so grateful.

And even though I am comforted; I know he has passed on to a grand reunion on the other side of the veil, and I am buoyed up by so many who love us; I want him back. I don't want his shoes. I just want him back. I will miss him so much.

Grandpa

How do you explain to a child that someone they love is gone? How do you explain that they will never see their Grandpa again on this earth? How do you ever grieve enough that they won't get to grow up with this wonderful man? I am sad for me. I am sad for my Mother in law. I am sad for my husband. And I am so sad for my children. I hope that they can remember how a few short weeks before his death he spent a week straight serving them and loving them completely. I am so grateful that Steve got to meet Teig. I am so grateful that Teig got to meet Grandpa Steve. I am so glad to have this precious photo of them together to hang on our wall.

As he left Michigan a few weeks ago my heart was so full of love for this selfless man. He gave and gave. He worked when he should have been resting, never complaining or letting on that he felt bad. He found a million ways to bless our lives. He found things to fix that we did not know needed fixing. He was so generous. We have so many things because of him. His advise will always stick with me. I never grew tired of talking and laughing with him. He always made me feel appreciated and ok. One day I complained about my hair and he said, "that must be frustrating." He always knew what to say. I feel as if I was just getting to know him and I looked forward to spending lots more time with him. And of course I dreamed my kids would get to grow up with his wonderful example.
When Patty called to tell us the news today I hope I did not hang up on her. I think she said goodbye and hung up before I closed the phone. I think I remember saying, "I'll tell Paul." I wish I had said "I'm so sorry" I was frozen and shocked and left to think:. How do I tell my husband that his father has just died?" I loved him. My heart aches. I will tell my kids about him again and again and again. We will miss him so much.

Dear Dear Steve...

Pure love

"Mother,
I love you more than 1000 hundred and I will never dream of anyone else but you. When I grow up I will marry you. "
Eirik