Alone for the night

I'm having a highly unusual night. My boys all went on a Father/ Son campout tonight. They left around 5:00 and I have had the last 9 hours to myself. I honestly can't remember the last time I have been alone for this long. It doesn't really count when you are staying up until all hours of the night to get some "alone" time when everyone is still in the house. This is different. It's a nice glimpse, for a moment, into what it might be like to not have a family and 3 babies (I'm counting the dog) that need me at every moment. Just for a moment I get to pretend to feel what many people in the world feel like. You mean I get to cook Whatever I want for dinner? You mean I get to leave the dishes out if I want and stay up as late as I want and watch whatever I want and DO whatever I want... in my own house?? And I can watch a romantic comedy and no one will make fun of me? I can turn off the air conditioning and no one will complain? I can listen to loud music and no one will wake up and make me put them back to bed? And the best one; You mean I can sleep in????!!
When Paul got home from work I had almost all of the camping gear packed. Paul gave me a sort of smirk and said, "are you a little anxious for us to take off?" hmmm? um, just a little.

It's a gorgeous spring/ summer night. Ideal temperature in every way. Our yard is absolutely stunning. It's too picturesque to believe I really get to live here. I'm still pinching myself every day.

We have 15 chibunkun fish in our little pond in the backyard.

My 2 new 4' x 4' gardens are actually growing. It's been a bit of a test of my faith to plant seeds in a garden for the first time and try to really believe and expect that they will grow in to actual plants that produce food. I have sweet pea vines and lettuce and pumpkin and watermelon and squash all growing from seed. I think there are carrots too, but they are a little too small to tell. The rest I bought pre-started. I couldn't take chances on tomatoes. I'm too excited for more tomatoes and peppers. My salsa and canned tomato soup were amazing last season and I can't wait for more.


I also have lots of potted herbs. I bought lemon verbena this year because it reminds me of my Aunt Julie who inspired me to have an herb garden. I loved walking around her garden while she pinched off herbs for me to have and to smell all the way home in the car.
By our pond we seriously have a FIELD of Lily of the VAlley. When I used to work in the floral shop this stuff would sell for $10 for 5 stems and I must have 1000's of stems. I feel like a princess living here.
So I have had a night to myself. How have I spent it you ask? Well, I could have gone out to eat with no kids, or gone shopping or ... anything, but here's how I spent it. I got a Red Box, and not one Paul would have ever watched with me. I built some hedges around my new watermelon seedlings and took some pictures of the yard. I finished up the present I made for my sisters new baby who will be born any minute (and took a picture of it.)

I'm counting on my sister not checking my blog until she receives her package. (Amy, I hope you are surprised by the mail first!) Welcome Emily Claire!

I skipped dinner completely and I painted all evening. I'm working on this fun pieced together canvas that my friend gave to me in college that I have had forever. I mod-podged newsprint down over the canvas to give it a lot of texture and then I am painting it, sanding it and trying my first crackle finish. (My attempt #1 tonight didn't produce the crackle results I am expecting.) The archway will have a mother hen with her little chicks and gilded moth designs in the frame. The floral pattern is really going bonkers at the moment, so don't judge too harshly yet.

When I started to mess up the painting with the "too bright" flowers and Tor started to chew on me, we went out and took a long bike ride. Tor kept up and kept me "company". We rode through our lovely neighborhood watching the hundreds of birds and squirrels and rabbits and I felt kind of lonely and missed my family. It's such a rare feeling I sort of liked reveling in "lonely" for a minute. I would live life so much more slowly if I didn't have kids. They just require that you are 1 step ahead all of the time or you are in a complete disaster... which I am in most of the time anyway. After the bike ride, I tried to keep painting, but mostly I just stared and thought, "how am I going to fix this." Then I watched my movie and made a bowl of spaghetti and wished it was Thai noodles instead. I took Tor out a few minutes ago. It was dark and someone was walking by in front of our house. Tor barked at him protectivly. He Never barks and I have never had a dog try to protect me before. It made me feel close to him in a whole new way. I think he might actually like me, and maybe we might even end up being friends instead of just dog and caretaker. He has grown so fast. He is only 4.5 months old and he is over 45 lbs. He is much bigger than Joren now, but that does not intimidate Joren in the least. Joren pushes Tor around, pulls his hair, sits on him and loves to grab him around the middle in a big hug while saying, "your so cute Tor, You're so cute". I love to watch them interact. It baffles me that Joren is so unafraid of such a big creature. At his age I would have been terrified, as many of the girls are that come over to play at our house. Some of these pics of Tor and Joren are a few months old. He's much bigger now. :) Big Hug

Now that I am finally blogging. :) I have some pictures of our new house to put up. For some reason I love this crazy ugly tablecloth. I found it for free at a garage sale still in its original wrapper. It just makes me so happy!
This is the studio. I have so many plans for how i want to decorate this amazing room, but it will just have to wait a bit longer. I am going to get a big "tree" branch that will go floor to ceiling; mount it in a big pot with plaster and then attach fabric leaves and some birds. I want it to go across the ceiling. I would love the walls to be white and the ceiling beams to be painted to look like walnut wood beams. I think I could faux them to make them look real. Then the ceiling needs to be some great color, maybe with a touch of luster glaze in it.. possibly very pale turquoise? Of course, the art leaves much to be desired.. I have lots of plans. And I have to stop coveting rugs. I still have a puppy that is not potty trained and I spend hours dreaming about rugs. For this room it would be really cool to have a yellow and grey striped rug, or that great West Elm one.. I do love my new green lamp and that afghan I found for $2 at a thrift store. Those crazy turquoise chinese urns are going to get a paint job. I want them more green with some drippy rust and ochre colors coming through. Unfortunately the pillow with the yellow flower that I made got destroyed by Tor. Darn him! Also, my favorite green bamboo table that i spend hours refinishing ... destroyed... and my favorite secretary chair! ARGGHHH!
These doors on the other side of the studio look out at the garden and patio. I think I am going to stain the unfinished doors walnut.
This is a picture of my boys room. Since this picture I did buy a rug and I cut down the stools and painted them red so they fit under the table. This table is where we have preschool a couple of times a week. My boys love preschool and so do I. We have a wall where we hang all of our artwork for the month. (on the left of the picture). At the end of the month I staple all of our work into a book for each child. The kids love learning a scripture of the week, the days of the week song, learning about the weather, seasons, months of the year and crossing days off the calendar. We also do articles of faith and the pledge of allegiance. Then we have a lesson and a craft of some kind. It's my favorite thing to do with the kids. I'm really just too controlling and like to be in charge and preschool is a time of day when I get my way. :) Oh yes, the kids are wearing diapers on their heads. Hey, I can't control everything. :)

I have had such big plans for this cute "farm" room. It bums me out because I have cut corners on cost so much that it's just not turning out as cute as I imagined it. And I kind of chose the wrong yellow for the walls, which really makes me mad since I'm supposed to be great at picking out paint colors. I just wish it were more gold like hay. I decided to buy the $100 square braided rug from Target since it was huge and the right colors and looked "farmhouse.. ish" but what I really wanted was a green shag rug that felt like grass. Ikea has one, but I just couldn't talk myself into it because it was just a bit too fluorescent and shiny. And it was $100 more. I think the furniture would be better in dark rustic brown and I would do a chair rail with bead board and the black iron hardware. The doors would be made to look like red barn wood with white X's on them. I want to get round metal rings to hang on the wall like hitching posts for the boys' hobby horses. Anyway.. can you tell it's 2:00 AM? These are the things my mind obsesses about when I should be in bed... well who am I kidding? This is the kind of thing I obsess about ALL the time! Sometimes I just wish I could turn it off.

I'm impressed if you read through this whole post. You must really like me. :) Thanks for being my company on my night "alone." :) It was sure a fun one.

30!!

We got to celebrate PAUL'S big 30 last night! When I turned 30 it didn't feel like a very big deal, but now that he is 30, it seems like we are really hitting middle age. The best part about the party was that we go to celebrate with Dave, Paul's cousin also born on the exact same day. Dave has been staying with us for a week and a half and we have loved having him here. We made a big spread of Frank's Red Hot chicken Salad, Key Lime Pie, homemade ice cream and candied almonds. I couldn't get enough of the mango salsa that we put on the chicken salad. It's just mango, tomato, onion, jalepeno, s/p and lime, but I was eating it like soup. YUM. We had great friends over just hung out. I was super anxious all day because for so many years in the past I have failed to make Paul's birthday a special day so I really wanted 30 to be a great time. As soon as our friends started to arrive I realized I was crazy to be so anxious, just having friends like ours makes a party fun. We are loosing some of our favorite friends this season as they finish residency and move away. I'm seriously not happy about it. Why do all our friends move? (looking at you Charyce, Kit and Basil, Zach and Arinn, Syd and Dave, Angie and Dan, and now Amy and Brandon, and Tash and Brandon!) Seriously... NOT FAIR.






Kasey, you can't move next year!

Happy 30th Birthday Dave and Paul!!

Paul, your new gray hairs are very becoming. You get much better every year, like a good cheese. :) I really did a good thing when I listed to God tell me to marry you. You are the best thing to ever happen to my life. I never knew how to dream so big or believe so fully or love so completely until you showed me. Here's to the next 30 years and more.

We miss you Dave! Thanks for fixing the ice machine, ordering the battery for the motorcycle, showing Paul his new favorite website coparts.com, cleaning our seriously dirty car, taking the dog out tons of times, buying us a Costco membership... and just being super cool. We hope you come again. It was so fun! And we loved the baked french toast! Yum!

Dragon Training

I took my boys to see "How to train your dragon" and they got to wear their Hiccup costumes that I made for them. They loved it, and loved sword fighting in the backyard just as much. I love these boys.

Life in a house.. peacefull spring

Eirik: "Mom, I just swept the whole house."
Me: "Great, did you make me a big pile to scoop up?"
Eirik: "No mom, It's abstract sweeping."

march

a million changes

Love, love loving our new house.

Taking time to live.. breath.. settle into the glorious life having a home gives.

space, rooms, closets, yard, yard, yard.. Loving our yard to pieces.

Dining room with no carpet...that we can all fit around.

no more family meals sitting on the floor around the kids table in the tiny kitchen.

Love mealtime!

Pantry.. I feel like a kid in a candy store looking at all my jars and cans and food storage and having shelves to line them up on.

basement! ..Toy area! . laundry ROOM! No more laundry on the kitchen floor being sorted!

Big nursery... school room .. sunlight.. bunkbeds.. organization.

School with kids every morning.. Morning art. Scripture study and memorization.

Reading cards. Animal cards. puzzles. singing time. Fun.

Love my kids.

Dog

Cutest dog in the world. sweet sweet dog. Attention like we have never had before.
People love this dog. Wow, he makes us popular on walks. I can love this dog.
A house of 4 boys needs a dog like this.


puppy- I think 9 weeks

boy party

Superhero Birthday party

My 3 year old tadpole turned four. He's losing his tail and getting big independent legs. So smart. So giving, kind. So thoughtful and a total problem solver. social, confident, decisive, determined, creative, bright.. my little superhero.

(superman is saving the cowgirl who is drowning in the water)

training

building a spider web with yarnbuilding superhero gadgets

masked cupcakes

SPRING!

(still discovering bark dust in my gloves)

leaf stew

finally getting out the camera again. finally getting an ounce of creative spirit raising up and swelling inside. Loving my new studio! taking time to look through old sketchbooks, journals, art files, old paintings...organizing it all.. remembering.. planning. Feeling Alive! Thrift store shopping to decorate the new art cocoon. Real. Uncovering my artist self. Invigorating..

"When you come right down to it, all you have is yourself. Yourself is a sun with a thousand fires in your belly. The rest is nothing. Pablo Picasso

lighting the fire... decorating my studio feels like i'm uncovering a bit of that inner sun. can't wait to reveal it.

"Each of us has the right, that possibility to invent ourselves daily. If a person does not invent herself, she will be invented. So, to be bodacious enough to invent ourselves is wise. Maya Angelou

Belly

Belly swelling, tightening, insanely tight for only 20 weeks. Doc says this one is impressively kinetic. I feel it everyday.. starting a 6 week yoga class tomorrow to try to reclaim at least a small portion of what used to feel like mine.

Trying hard to find a boy name and more boy energy. Trying hard to feel like I will have it in me to try again for a girl. Trying hard not to feel just a tiny bit overwhelmed with boy..ness. Wishing I could make these old T-shirts into cute little baby girl summer dresses. trying hard to not do it anyway even though it's a boy inside. trying hard.

Favorite things:

"Mommy, I love you more than a blue whale".

"Mommy, I love you more than the whole ooniverse."

"Mommy, I wuv you."

The storm circled, then lowered, then sucked us in

We spent a plentiful 3 weeks basking in family life in Utah over Christmas and the new year. Each morning was spent rushing to visit dear friends and family we have not seen in too long, and each afternoon was spent rushing home for naps and quiet time. You would think that 3 weeks would be plenty of time to visit all people dear, but despite all of efforts we still missed going to many places including my grandparents houses. We were able to spend time with them at my parents house, but it’s not quite the same. My aunts gave us a very special presentation about my Grandma Law’s life. They made a book with pictures and stories told by all of her close relatives. As my grandma sat and listened she chuckled, “it’s not right to have a eulogy before you’re even dead.” She was flattered to be so remembered and celebrated, but she’s too modest to not be a bit embarrassed. The stories told of her amazing gardening and canning efforts of her pouring the cement of her own driveway, and her hand washing the clothes and putting them on the line to dry. She had 7 children. She never complained. She was always stalwart. Her family history work has been remarkable. I am honored to have her as my grandmother and to learn from her. I’m so glad my aunts put together the book so I can revisit it and teach my children. It is a treasure.

Here is a smattering of poor quality photos from Christmas. It was a great time even if the photos don't show it.

For Christmas my mom asked me for help designing and remodeling her bathroom.

She had a good idea of what she wanted, but while I was there we did all the shopping and I did a lot of demo. I also let the kids work. I was impressed. They loved the tools. Joren was remarkably successful at his efforts to remove tile. I hope he doesn’t try to use any of his new skills at our house. Eirik really loved the safety glasses and made sure I ALWAYS wore mine. Of course, that’s no surprise, Eirik is ALL ABOUT GEAR! He’s always in full costume and equipped with all his weapons and gear.

Although it’s difficult to pick a highlight of a trip where you get to see all of the family you miss so much, I will admit that our 3 days in the fragrant, dreamy, heartwarming desert air of St. George was the best part. As I drove south the snow began to disappear and my chi came totally alive as I became one with the red rock hills and mountains around us. My lucky-dog sister gets to live there and she doesn’t even love it as much as I do. I was up at 5:00 AM going on walks every morning, doing yoga, feeling so ALIVE. I couldn’t believe how warm it was at midday even in January. Amy took us to a place for a nature hike that was perfect. The kids got to eat nuggets in this little red rock cave and then we hiked until we were all flushed with warmth and life and the sun had warmed our cheeks to nearly a burn. When we returned to our picnic spot we were all warm enough to take off our socks and shoes and dig our feet into that glorious red sand. Oh, I wanted to swim in it. I never wanted it to end. I didn’t realize until that weekend how ridiculously infatuated I am with the desert. I’m sure it doesn’t help to be thinking of it from the middle of a Michigan blizzard, but nonetheless, it was bliss and my heart is still there just a bit.

The hardest part about 3 weeks in Utah, were 2 weeks in Utah without Paul. Every day of the last week Eirik cried for his daddy. When Paul would call, Eirik would just cry and cry which certainly didn’t make it easier for Paul being away from us for 2 weeks either. We sure missed him. My boys traveled well. It was only VERY stressful as traveling with a 2 and a 3 year old is bound to be, but it was not debilitating. We did just fine. We came home on the 14^th.
On the 15^th we had an 11 week ultrasound and got to see a little tiny baby kicking and squirming and moving all around with a strong little heartbeat. It was so exciting. I almost felt like the baby was not possibly real until proven real with an ultrasound. We are now just over 13 weeks and I am waiting oh so fervently for the evening when I do not feel like going into a sleep coma to avoid the nausea. I’m sure it will be soon. The evening of the 15^th we found a house that we loved and signed the paperwork to move in at the beginning of March. We also sent in the down payment for our new little puppy coming the first week of March. Then we talked to our friends about buying their van when the move in June.

On the 16^th I was called into our bishop’s office and asked to serve as the Relief Society President. I was lucky to have had a premonition that this calling was on its way. About 2 months ago the Lord told me to prepare and I have been, so it wasn’t too much of a surprise. I am excited and happy to serve. I just hope I can do a good job. It’s reassuring to feel that the Lord wants me in this calling. I was only sustained 2 days ago and already there is a woman from our ward in the intensive care unit and a funeral to plan. I am moving in a week and a half with a puppy on the way and I’m still nauseous every night. I’m doing the decorations for 2 baby showers in the next few weeks, planning Eirik’s superhero birthday party, teaching part of a constitution class, coordinating a mid week relief society meeting for next week and trying to plan a play/ dinner party for March as well as teaching 2 preschool classes in the next 3 weeks. Our computer crashed and had to wiped clean. Luckily we learned from our last crash to back everything up and we don’t think we lost anything vital. We bought a new laptop which I am loving and slowly getting used to. But the Lord has confidence, so I’m trying to keep mine. It feels that life just went from relatively breezy to much more busy. I’m trying to remember to breath and I’ve started doing yoga again. (And you wondered why I haven’t posted in 2 months!)

I think we are going to really love our new home. It has a beautiful backyard with giant trees and a 6 year old coy pond with a heater and pump. It’s filled with self propagating fish. I can’t believe our luck at finding this house. It has a huge dog run on the back that opens from the garage. It has an electric fence. There is not a stitch of carpet in the house. (Great news for the owners of a massively shedding dog.) The owners of the house are leaving their dog kennel that happens to be big enough for a Berner for us. It’s almost like the Lord is saying to me, “Melody, I know you don’t really want to get a dog, but I’m going to make it really easy for you to give your husband this great blessing. Here you go.” I know Paul will be so happy having a dog. I have been reading training books and getting more ready. It’s one of those things where I think you just have to jump right In, ready or not. The house is an older house but it is all renovated. It has a gorgeous kitchen, a new beautiful sun room, great deck, basement and big bedrooms. I feel really blessed that we found this place.

I will really miss some things about this wonderful apartment that we have been in for 2 ½ years. Just for sentimentality sake, I want to list them.

The low utilities, warm carpet, quiet rooms, new everything, nice showers, carpeted stairs, good windows, open layout, small living quarters that forces us to be together all the time like it or not, nice private master bath, maintenance crew to come fix any problems and salt the walks and shovel and mow the lawn and take care of all the landscaping, spray for spiders etc, etc. We really have had it pretty great here.

As I have been packing I have really enjoyed having all of my lovely art and decorations in boxes hidden away. It’s nice to live in clean functionality for a while. I almost don’t want to unpack. I seem to do a great job of cluttering my life with unnecessary things. Every once in a while I just need a break so I’ll shift to my left brained functioning effective, efficient motality for a while, but before long my heart cries out and I just have to go back to cluttering everything all up again with loveliness everywhere. Why do I do it to myself. Why can’t I just kick back and watch TV at the end of a day like my friends do. Why do I always have to be planning and making something?? My house if full of cool stuff I’ve made that is too cool to get rid of, but I don’t really need it. I’m going to try to keep it simple in the next house and see how it goes.